I have been having a ton of vivid dreams lately. By a TON I really mean that they wake me up very early every morning. They are SO vivid that they seem real, and upon waking it takes me quite a while to decipher what is reality and what is just dreams; this causes me to toss and turn, wondering what has happened to cause this trauma. I have awoke in tears many of these mornings because of the content of these dreams. The haunting continues, and while I have found a way to block these occurrences during waking hours (hopefully for good) I have not found a way to block these from my subconscious mind. He is still able to penetrate my thoughts when I am sleeping and unable to forcefully rid them from my thoughts.
One morning I will be waking to tears because my dreams are everything my reality longs for; the next it is because my dreams are everything my reality has become. I am hoping that more stress relief acupuncture sessions can free me from the emotional prison that I find myself trapped in.
I am willing his SOUL to part with mine, as our bodies have already parted. I know that he is not coming back, my body and mind know he is not coming back and our eyes will never meet again....it is time for the souls to part....
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