So, as I am sitting here, thinking of all the items to be listed in this blog, I am wondering if these personality traits are some sort of OCD, personality disorder, social anxiety disorder, or other such explanation. Maybe I am just looking for something to blame, other than an over anxious and over analytical mind.
#1- I cannot walk through a door, into a bar, restaurant, or other social establishment first. So that means, that when I am on a date, the guy cannot be a gentleman and hold the door open for me. These men don't seem to understand this and think I am just being a silly Type-A, who has to show independence by opening the door for them. NOT the case. I have anxiety about having to walk in first. You see, much to many peoples amazement, I do not like to be the center of attention. I don't like the whole, "all eyes on me." It bundles my nerves so tightly that I can hardly function like a normal adult. So, what happens when a door opens in a place? People turn and look at the door. People are nosy. They want to know who is coming in, they want to know if they know the person coming in, they want to judge the person coming in. Therefore, I can not walk in first.
#2- I am a dissector, or whatever you call someone that dissects. I don't dissect cute little frogs or anything of that nature. I dissect information. I dissect every word. I dissect every action. Everything means something to me; be it good, bad or ugly, and I cannot sleep at night until I figure out what that is. If there is nothing to dissect, I analyze the situation, because that simply is not possible and therefore there is something I am missing. There HAS to be something to dissect.
#3- I am a "fixer" as someone recently put it. I don't like conflict, yet I cannot walk away from conflict. I don't want to argue, but I can't walk away with things left unresolved. So, rather than walk away, leave things unsaid, I would rather assess and talk about the situation, resolve it, then there is no question of where things stand. When I have to walk away, the only thing is does is cause me massive amounts of anxiety, fear, and emotions to the point that I almost make myself ill with worry. I don't like when things are not black and white with where things stand. More than that, I don't like when things are potentially not "good." I am the first to admit fault to avoid an argument and just happily move on about the day.
That being said, if I have an issue, I would rather dissect it with my BFF than bring it up while spending time with the person I am in a relationship with. Why? Well, I typically don't get to spend much time with the person due to scheduling conflicts. So the time I do get to spend with them, I don't want to spend discuss what may or may not be me over analyzing something.
#4- I used to be naive. I am not anymore. I have NOW figured out that NO ONE works 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If they say they do, they are lying. I used to think that they were just that dedicated to their job, I NOW see that they were dedicated to making it appear that way. One point in the positive for Christy; she finally figured that out!
And alas, I need to quit listing all my quirky personality traits, and let you all enjoy reading about them while I finish the next chapter of The Break-Up Chronicles. Tonight is the first meeting of the minds at the "Writing Club, party of two," as I have dubbed it. :) There will be a blog about this, I am sure. With the two minds we are putting together it is sure to be an entertaining event, just sayin....
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