Status: Disabled

There are times when being "tech-savvy" doesn't work in ones favor. I thought it would be a good idea to temporarily disable my facebook account. This, largely in part so that the constant reminders of the life I once lived were not thrown in my face. I have now decided that really isn't going to work. Here is why:

#1- I POSTED that I was disabling the account.
#2- Prior to making that choice, I made absolutely certain that I was still going to be able to see what I wanted to see so that I wouldn't have an anxiety attack every day.
#3- I know computers. I am good with computers. I can't HIDE from them, or trick myself into thinking that I don't have this knowledge. (If I had the power over my mind that would allow me to "trick" myself, I wouldn't be trying to escape this madness in the first place!)
#4- My MIND doesn't have a disable button.

So, I sat at work, reminding myself that the conscious on my right shoulder was steadily instilling the need to disable my account. Disable. Disconnect. Erase. Forget.
My left shoulder conscious had a different plan. It was rebutting. Screaming. Reminding me of all the ways to cheat my temporary fix.

This was enough to want to send anyone into nervous breakdown mode. I shook my head, thinking it would knock both right and left conscious off my shoulders. This struggle was defeating the whole purpose. It was simply transferring one inner struggle to another inner struggle, which was reminding me of the whole reason for the inner struggle to begin with.

So, disabled? Is that the current status? Yes. One debilitating factor or another, in some way shape or form, just not Facebook disabled.