The Haunting

Rough week. Really rough week; and that is putting it mildly. I wish it would have ended on a good note. If only I were not haunted. I am haunted by thoughts, visions and a voice. A voice that not so long ago I didn't want to ever forget. It is a voice now that I wish would just go away, never to be heard again. Be careful what you wish for, they can't be taken back.
After hanging out with friends, and a guy I was dating it was time to head home. That is when everything turned disastrous. All it took was one wrong turn to pass the places I used to go, for that voice to find me. The voice replayed conversations, the littlest conversations about nothing. But that nothing used to be my everything, and it felt like a knife had been driven into the depths of my soul.
As I got out of the car, and he leaned in to kiss me, the tears began to flow like a river of never ending emotion. I tried so hard to fight them and that just sent more streaming down my face. He tried so hard to comfort me, but how could I even begin to explain why a night of happiness and celebration had taken this turn? All I could say was it was I needed to go home; and I am was sorry. He asked what was wrong. He asked if I wanted to talk about it. My reply never changed. It had been a rough week; I didn't want to talk about it. Standing in the driveway he held me while I cried, probably still so confused as to what was wrong. Probably thinking he had done something terribly wrong. Mascara and eyeliner covered his shirt. Why wouldn't the sound of that voice just let me be at peace?
And so...what did I do? I let that voice ruin my night. I let that voice make decisions for me. I walked down the driveway, away from an amazing guy who treats me like gold. I walked away, I didn't look back. I got in the car and I drove home. I could almost hear the chuckle of satisfaction of that stupid voice. It would haunt me forever, wouldn't it?
And now, no matter how many times  try to apologize, that voice and the words, it is what it is, will be all that I hear.
Word to the wise, never wish for that haunting, one day, you will need it to be silent and it will scream loudly, overpowering everything else.